
Today I read another article and watched a video clip, What Was He Thinking?, about the sad, destructive, bewildering behavior of Representative Anthony Weiner. After days of denial he is finally taking responsibility for deliberately texting lewd photos of himself to young women he’s never met. You’ve most likely seen them. No need to describe them.
The article, from USA Today,Narcissism, risk-taking tend to drive sex scandals, begins with a litany of names of recent, powerful politicians who have betrayed their wives, the public trust, the trust of friends and perhaps even their own morals, to pursue sexual thrills: John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig, Kwame Kilpatrick, Bill Clinton, to name just a few.
They come from any part of the political spectrum, but they are unanimously male, and almost all white. It’s no wonder that media of all types, and of all persuasions, are asking the question, “What are these guys thinking?!”
Reading the article reveals the opinion that they are narcissistic (overwhelmingly consumed with self-interest), risk-taking, and attention-seeking powerful men. They have also convinced themselves they are above the rules that apply to everyone else.
On the one hand, we guys who observe these soap operas can join in the chorus and marvel, “Can you believe these guys? How can they risk everything for this?!” On the other, when we honestly remind ourselves of the self-centered, relationship-harming, reputation-risking behavior we are also capable of pursuing, we need to fall on our knees and weep. “Different issue, lower degree of publicity, less outrage…that could be me.”
Men, when we are tempted to pursue stuff we know is ultimately self-centered and hurtful to others, let’s apply a few lessons we can learn from Congressman Weiner’s horrible fall:
- I, too, am fallen
- I, too, have a capacity for self-centeredness
- I, too, can rely on the assumption that I can get away with it
- I, too, can believe I deserve it
- I, too, may be deluded into thinking it has no consequences
- I, too, can foolishly entertain the lie, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Then, let’s pause, and ask ourselves, “What in the world am I thinking?! What do I really believe? What kind of man am I really?” May we then make choices that focus on the needs of others, that honor trust, that discipline self, that deepen relationship and that build character.
What would you add to this conversation?
My greatest joy in life is my family. I know, that sounds like the comment you’re supposed to make as a man and father. All I can say is I literally shake my head in wonder at the family I have: my wife Beryl; my daughter Barclay and son-in-law Vince, their four daughters, Bella, Brynn, Brooke and Blake; my son Alec, my son Conor and daughter-in-law Bonnie, their daughter Gemma and son Calvin. Every one of them is a genuine gift. Beyond that, I have a calling that I live out through Peregrine Ministries. It is to help men: Understand their identity in Christ, Embrace their role as men, and Live out their God-given calling in life. Bottom line is I’m convinced men matter and I want to help them live life on purpose.
Comments: 7
I, Too…so true Craig. I know there is no way that I should be be the first to throw a stone, as Jesus said, because I am certainly not without sin. We all need to look to others for their hearts and not pass judgement, walk with them and just be there for them. I feel in my heart that Jesus wants me for my heart, and for this I am truly grateful!
It’s amazing how many people are dismissing what he did with excuses like “that’s his private life … it doesn’t effect his judgement”, or “that’s what guys do.” Really? Have we reached a point where there is no decency left in society? That is hypothetical … I know that the vocal defenders are in the minority, but it does make you wonder when over 50% of his constituency are defending him and saying he should stay in office.
Thanks for writing on it. I debated about it, and just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Keep writing Craig, we need it!
Mark
I know, Mark, it’s shocking how many will say this kind of character flaw has no consequence to governing. This morning I read a great comment by Kathleen Parker (Washington Post): “A politician may be able to survive cavorting with prostitutes, sexting with coeds and commingling with interns, but heaven forbid he should change his mind–the transgression that trumps all compassion.” What a bizarre set of values our culture possesses.
AND, at the same time, like Doug says, we all need to look at our own hearts first.
Thanks for the post Craig! We all need the reminder that as we look at the fall of others, we are only a few sins away from the same fate.
Thanks for your comment, Michael. I took a look at your blog and smiled at your confession of not being a good blogger. Hey, at least you’re sitting down and starting to type, which I guess is the biggest step. You might identify with my first post: I Can’t Believe I’m Doing This. http://www.craigglass.org/?p=11. Keep writing.
This is why I love you, Craig. Instead of cracking jokes like Jay Leno…or writing articles about how f—ed up this guy is….you put yourself in the same boat. Many days I would like to pretend (and tell the world) that I am in a better boat…a more perfect boat. When the reality is that I am capable of horrendous things…and we are all in the same broken boat and so in need of a savior. I hope for more days where I realize that I, TOO am in the broken boat. I think that is where change happens. Thanks for being real. That is why I love you…and that is why I would follow you on Twitter. =)
Glad to be in the boat with you, Will. You just had to get that Twitter comment in there didn’t you.