Milestones on Your Journey With Your Daughter

Craig Glass

19 Posts Published


April 21, 2011


craig and barclayIf you’re like me, and most dads I know, you entered into the journey of fatherhood with relatively little training for the task, and virtually no clue what it will be like to raise a daughter.

As I look back on 30 years of dancing with my daughter, Barclay, 6 Milestones come to mind. Depending on the age of your daughter(s), you are at different Milestones, but I want to clarify, once you pass one, they don’t disappear in the rearview mirror. You stay on each Milestone even as the next ones comes up.

Milestone 1: Calibrate
On the start of any long journey, an experienced man will calibrate his compass or GPS. He will make sure he knows that true north is his baseline, the satellites are tracking his exact location. Your daughter is one of the greatest priorities in your life. She is one of those primary satellites that you should always be looking for, to remind you how important she is to you.

Milestone 2: Comfort
Your daughter doesn’t need you to stay distant, she needs you to enter her world and provide tenderness, respectful touch and gentleness. Gentleness is not weakness; it’s strength under control. Let her feel your disciplined strength guiding and caring for her regularly.

Milestone 3: Celebrate
The voice of the father bestows intrinsic value and worth to his children. Your daughter longs to know that it matters to you that she’s a girl. What you tell her about her value as a woman she will believe, for blessing or for damage. Spot her talents, her joys, her passions, and celebrate them. When she is older she will pursue them with passion.

Milestone 4: Respect
As her body changes and she becomes aware of herself apart from you and Mom, she will naturally start to pull away. In your case, she may pull away physically. She should; it’s healthy. She is establishing boundaries between you as affectionate Dad and romantic man. She needs you to respect her boundaries.

Milestone 5: Release
As she gets older and tries to find her way in the world she needs you to trust her. As she explores what she enjoys, values and dreams about, she needs you to pay attention, protect, and gradually, increasingly…let go. Never more so than the day she gets married. On the day she was born, you became the most important man in the world to her. On her wedding day, you release that title to her husband. I’m deeply grateful that I’ve had a good man in son-in-law Vince to carry that title for Barclay.

Milestone 6: Remain
Regardless the Milestone you and your daughter are on, there is one truth that will always Remain: No matter her age, no matter the trials in your relationship, no matter the closeness or distance, you and only you will always be her dad. Write her, call her, touch her, text her. Remain. Remain. Remain.

Comments: 3

Leave a comment