One week ago we were stunned by the news that NBA star Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and seven others were killed in a helicopter crash in California. Since then we have seen an outpouring of grief and accolades on a scale rarely seen:
- Kobe’s death has been mourned by millions around the globe
- Superstars in all sports have been reduced to tears as they’ve described their loss
- Some, like Shaquille O’Neal who had years-long tension in his relationship with Kobe, have committed themselves to changing their lives
- Perhaps all of us have felt some level of stunned grief
Perhaps we’ve also felt a sense of mixed emotions at the adulation Kobe has received. Yes, we know he was a talented basketball player; but we can’t forget the incident in Colorado when he was accused of assaulting a young woman.
As I’ve read blogs and articles, listened to broadcasts and paid attention to my own reactions, I wonder, Why the overwhelming grief, and why mixed emotions? Here are my thoughts:
1. He was a living legend.
For those under age 35, there’s a very strong likelihood that he was the embodiment of a living basketball legend.
- For those a little older it’s Magic and Larry.
- For those a little older, it’s MJ and Dr. J.
- For those a little older still, it was Bill Russell and Oscar Robertson.
- And for some who can’t remember…it was Jerry West or Bob Cousy.
For a whole current generation, full of energy and dreams, Kobe was a hero in the flesh. (And of course, LeBron James is a part of that conversation, too). That’s one reason the grief has been so enormous. Living legends are supposed to be living.
2. His accomplishments are simply astounding. Kobe was:
- One of the first to sign a pro contract right out of high school
- 5 time NBA champ
- 2 time NBA finals MVP
- 18 time All-star
- 4 time All-star game MVP
- 2 time Olympic gold medalist
The list goes on. Most agree Kobe was absolutely one of the Top 10 most accomplished basketball players ever. It’s quite likely many would agree he’s in the Top 5. The world is grieving the loss of a stunningly accomplished athlete.
3. For many he became a villain. For them Kobe represented all that is wrong with prima-donna athletes who force themselves on others and expect special privileges of exoneration. An honest appraisal of his life requires us to acknowledge that:
- He was accused of rape by a 19 year-old hotel worker in Eagle, CO
- She eventually refused to testify and the case was dropped
- He did however agree to a plea deal in a civil suit, and publicly apologized
- Many NBA fans, and certainly almost all Denver Nuggets fans, never forgave him. For the remainder of his career, the Denver Pepsi Center was filled with boos and jeers every time Kobe touched the ball.
As a result, for many he remained a permanent, infamous, unforgivable villain.
4. His focus after basketball has without any question been his family, especially his four girls. Whatever one’s opinion of Kobe the opponent, or the abuser, there is no denying he restored his marriage, and along with a supremely forgiving wife, turned much of his attention to his daughters:
- He started and ran the Mamba Sports Academy to teach girls basketball. He and Gianna had hopes that she might play for U. of Conn some day.
- He was on a flight to oversee an event at that academy when the helicopter crashed into a hill in the fog.
- Fathers across the globe have posted on #girldad over 175,000 time to express their respect for Kobe and their commitment to their daughters. The most repeated word: Love
- As the proud father and father-in-law of two wonderful women and the grandfather of 5 girls I can relate.
Countless athletes, bloggers, broadcasters and journalists have vouched for the visible impact Kobe made on them as they watched his undeniable dedication and love toward his girls.
It makes me wonder, could there be a connection between his shameful disrespect of a young woman in 2003 and his admirable respect for his daughters in 2020? What do you think?
5. Lastly, perhaps the most subtle, but deepest reason for the outpouring of grief and admiration is, his story is like all of ours…just vastly more pronounced and evident. It looks like redemption to me:
- Like Kobe, we all have God-given, innate talents that we can hardly take credit for. We should gratefully acknowledge, embrace and deploy them.
- Like him, we have accomplishments for which we are known. Just vastly more unnoticed.
- Like him, we are engaged in a career, vastly less profitable, that results in provision and impact. Whatever the scale of ours, there is dignity in our work.
- Like him, every one of us has committed self-serving, other-harming acts of outright sin. Ours have just been vastly less publicized.
Jesus said to pious men who would stone a sinful woman, “Whichever of you is without sin, cast the first stone.” (John 8) They had enough sense to turn around and slink away, or just run. We should have the same reaction whenever we get in a pious, judgmental mood toward others.
Jesus was explicitly clear about how he felt about those who would point out a speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye, while ignoring the plank in their own. The word he used was “hypocrite.” (Matt. 7)
In the clarifying light of God’s righteousness none of us has the slightest excuse for standing in judgment of others. Especially when it seems evident that the other has experienced a transformative change in their priorities and behavior.
As I watch and read I think these are the reasons behind the almost unparalleled grief we have seen over Kobe’s death:
1. For a whole generation he was a living legend.
2. His accomplishments are simply astounding.
3. For many he became an infamous villain.
4. He directed exceptional love toward the women of his family.
5. His story is wounded just like ours. God redeems broken stories.
One of the most magnificent attributes of God’s nature, as illustrated by Jesus in his description of The Prodigal’s father, is his unlimited capacity to forgive and redeem the worst acts of our lives.
I thank God that he has done that for me. Perhaps he’s done that for you. I just wonder if he did the same for Kobe.
To me, his story looks like redemption.
My greatest joy in life is my family. I know, that sounds like the comment you’re supposed to make as a man and father. All I can say is I literally shake my head in wonder at the family I have: my wife Beryl; my daughter Barclay and son-in-law Vince, their four daughters, Bella, Brynn, Brooke and Blake; my son Alec, my son Conor and daughter-in-law Bonnie, their daughter Gemma and son Calvin. Every one of them is a genuine gift. Beyond that, I have a calling that I live out through Peregrine Ministries. It is to help men: Understand their identity in Christ, Embrace their role as men, and Live out their God-given calling in life. Bottom line is I’m convinced men matter and I want to help them live life on purpose.
Comments: 18
Excellent comments and lessons to learned from Kobe’s story!!!
James, thank you for reading and for your feedback.
SO well said. All of it, a picture of redemption and hope.
Thank you, Lea Ann.
Great analysis, Craig! And well stated. Kobe impacted the lives of many, in many ways. Redemption looks different for each man and for each situation. And most of us, most times, have the added benefit of having to seek forgiveness from only one individual, or at most, a small population group. Why then do we hesitate?
Thanks for your input, Bruce. A great, sincere apology goes a very long way. But as you say, we hesitate. Sometimes we never express it. Why? I can think of one word you and I have talked about before: Pride. Sound right?
Thanks, Craig, for your insight.
We are all and need Jesus to save us from ourselves.
Thank you, Donna. I agree.
Very good points. Makes me wonder what God was doing in his heart and who he was hanging around (influencing his life) that was impacting his life.
ie you forgot Pistol Pete
Steve, I’d honestly love to know more about Kobe’s spiritual journey. A friend told me today that he had a spiritual guide who was very influential in his walk.
The Pistol! Baggy socks and all.
Craig, though all your points ring true (especially the summation, that Kobe’s story looks like redemption), the reaction of people worldwide to me shouts ‘worship’. We put great and not so great men on pedestals and sing their praises and in our secular society, “they are as gods”.
Steve, you’re the second person that mentioned almost exactly the same thing. Yes, his story has the hopes of redemption, and I obviously have that hope for him. But there’s a way in which some of the adulation seems almost worshipful. Very interesting observation. I think you have a good point.
Craig,
Very well said. Regardless of how we feel about Kobe we are all fallen and in need of God’s grace. We are quick to cast the first stone without acknowledging the beam in our own eye.
Thanks, Tom, I appreciate your input. Honestly, it would be just like the Enemy to draw our attention to the failings of others and ignore our own need for grace.
I have nothing but sympathies and prayers for the families that were affected by this horrible accident. Unfortunately these things happen and we will soon find out the cause of this senseless tragedy. As for Kobe Bryant himself he was a truly gifted athlete, but I look at the reaction to his death as an indicator of the society in which we live in 2020 in America.
Kobe gained wealth, fame, and adoration for playing, exceptionally well mind you, a child’s game. Like many other athletes of our day he has shown what relentless hard work and talent can bring when that hard work and determination meets opportunity. He did use that talent to become wealthy and to help, through many charitable organizations, the communities in which he lived. Through the lens of fame he also brought publicity and attention to many of those charities; helping with the heavy lifting in many of them by providing an influx of much needed funding and cash. That is great work. As for his personal life, we may know little more than he appeared to be a devoted father to his girls and wife. That is admirable and as a father of three girls, I know it is a daily challenge that should lead you to Christ. I hope it was for him as well, and I hope his wife and surviving girls can gain healing and perspective from faith…. That being said I am not sure from a daily perspective his life can tell us much more. He was immensely talented, but the chances of the average young man growing up to become a professional athlete is so remotely small, it is essentially a statistical anomaly.
There is however another crash that we should be talking about, and unfortunately we are not. Last week as the NTSB team was enroute to Orange County, a U.S. Air Force E-11 crashed in Afghanistan. Perhaps this War has been going on for so long that it does not warrant a mention on CNN, or more likely, it is an indication of the preoccupation with fame in our society today. Either way the 2 Airman were killed doing something completely admirable: trying to save the lives of the soldiers, sailors, airman, and marines who are flighting evil in our world. And lets be frank, and call it what it is, what the Taliban and many of our enemies in that region do, with their treatment of women and children, is evil. Our forces are the good guys. These airman were the good guys. Lt Col Paul K. Voss, and Captain Ryan S. Phaneuf were dedicated pilots, and volunteers (as everyone in the military is). That they were presented with a situation that got out of control, and paid with their lives, is a true tragedy. These men had families that loved them and friends that will miss them. They died that others may live.
Possibly the best honor you can be given to a pilot and officer is the respect of those who work with you and fly with you. Lt Col Voss was one of those men. One of his enlisted troops put it this way “When things would get bad, he wouldn’t sugarcoat it. He would be one of the few officers the enlisted could look to helping us boost our morale and regain focus on the mission. He was there for us. He got us through the anger, the depression, the confusion. Simply put, he got it.” When the chips were down he was there for his men…that is a dedication story we should be talking about, not a child’s game. These are lessons that you don’t need to be a statistical anomaly to embrace. And that sentiment from his troops, is worth more than gold for eternity. The lesson to our youth is this: you can lead great people, become someone who counts, and stand up against evil in your time, at home or abroad. These Airman were those type of people.
Fame, fortune and basketball can reveal many things. But I hoped, as I watched a grown man in a Lakers Jersey weep openly at Kobes memorial on CNN, that I was seeing more than what appeared. Perhaps Kobe was the only way this man could talk to his Dad during a hard time in his life. Perhaps Kobe was the outlet that allowed him to talk to his estranged kids. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
But more than Kobe, Lt Col Voss and Capt Phaneuf revealed that perhaps we should focus on what it means to be a hero. That selfless dedication to each other, when it counts, when no one is looking, when fame is not going to be a player… that is truly heroic. That should not be ignored in our society because it hit the wrong news cycle. That is something everyone can strive for…for those of us who will not be a statistical anomaly.
Erik, I deeply appreciate the time you took to express your thoughts on Kobe’s passing. But even more so, on the loss of two airmen last week. You’re right, I heard nothing about that news. I suspect that story would come as news to most who read your comment.
My wife and I can see the Air Force Academy chapel from our back deck in Colorado Springs. In a distant but genuine way, the men and women who train there, graduate and then serve the nation feel like heroes to us. Scripture itself reminds us that there is no greater love than laying down one’s life for another. That kind of love— demonstrated most powerfully through the Lord’s sacrifice— is quintessentially heroic. Thank you for shedding light for me and others on the sacrifice of Lt. Col. Voss and Capt. Phaneuf. I grieve for their families.
Craig, thanks for your candid, thoughtful and empathetic analysis. I remember the Colorado event vividly and I remember being very angry. Over the years it dawned on me that the event (at age 24) was life changing for Kobe and he recognized his sin/or transgressions and changed his life. At least that is what I’ve made up. His accomplishments are without question and his mission after retirement was and is laudable. I too was saddened by his and everyone’s untimely deaths and it dawned on me that my life and mission is very tenuous, so I’d better get on to it and stop putting it off to a later day. Thanks Craig, your writing continues to enlighten & inspire. Lew
Lew, thank you so much for openly processing this with me and others. It’s not a simple black and white issue. It calls for compassion, insight, wisdom, truth and grace from all of us. By the way, I’ll remind you that your mission definitely had a life-giving impact on me 20+ years ago. I’m grateful for you, brother.