In a culture that tries to blur the God-designed differences between women and men, the question above isn’t as easy to answer as we might think. Christians might disagree with non-Christians, Baptists might disagree with Catholics, men might disagree with women.
Take a look at this link. In about 1 minute Doug Wilson gives as succinct an answer as I’ve ever heard. Is he right? How would you respond differently?
My greatest joy in life is my family. I know, that sounds like the comment you’re supposed to make as a man and father. All I can say is I literally shake my head in wonder at the family I have: my wife Beryl; my daughter Barclay and son-in-law Vince, their four daughters, Bella, Brynn, Brooke and Blake; my son Alec, my son Conor and daughter-in-law Bonnie, their daughter Gemma and son Calvin. Every one of them is a genuine gift. Beyond that, I have a calling that I live out through Peregrine Ministries. It is to help men: Understand their identity in Christ, Embrace their role as men, and Live out their God-given calling in life. Bottom line is I’m convinced men matter and I want to help them live life on purpose.
Comments: 2
Craig,
You are right that society today tends to blur gender distinctions. The modern agenda-driven feminist movement claims equal rights and equal power. The biblical perspective, however, calls for the opposite attitude, one of mutual submission and reciprocal servanthood.
Doug Wilson’s definition of masculinity as “gladly assuming sacrificial responsibility” has an element of truth — but it also falls short. God has not called us to become converts but disciples. Converts are passive whereas disciples are called to “take up their crosses” and take responsibility. This, of course, applies to everyone, not just men. As a parent, I want my daughter to grow up assuming responsibility as much as I do my sons. Put another way, if a woman assumes responsibility in her life, she is no more “masculine” for doing so. In this vein, the assumption of responsibility sounds more like a definition of maturity than it does something that is reserved exclusively for males.
That said, Doug Wilson gets a little closer when he inserts the word “sacrificial”. Your mention, Craig, of Ephesians 5 is a propos in this instance. This text illustrates true headship which looks very different than what many have been taught. Our use of the word “head” in the English language brings up connotations of hierarchy. But Paul uses the term “Kephale” (head) as “giver of life” or “source”. Within the context of mutual submission, the husband, as the “head” (provider of life) is taught to self-sacrificially serve his wife. In this passage, the servant-provider definition of headship that Paul gives makes no mention of the husband having authority over his wife.
I agree with Doug Wilson that authority flows to those who assume responsibility. This is true for all people, not just men. But many men are intimidated or threatened by this because they have the wrong view of headship. If headship is about hierarchy then women need to be “kept down” and not be in a position where they can be seen as having authority. And if authority flows to those who accept responsibility then women should not be encouraged assume responsibility. Again, we run into trouble with scripture.
As the servant-provider of my household, my job is to sacrificially “give life” to my family. This includes empowering my wife to use all (not just some) the gifts that He has given her.
Respectfully,
John Pavey
Thanks for your insight on this, John. I like the term you use “servant provider.” The truth is we men continue to wrestle with how we bring self-sacrificial responsibility, tender strength, strong compassion to others. The end result is not to bring control, or intimidation; it’s to bring and unleash life.