I thought this was an extremely honest perspective from a person struggling with church as she has known it. Does she represent a large slice of her generation? What do you think of her points?
7 Things I Wish the Church Knew About Me
My greatest joy in life is my family. I know, that sounds like the comment you’re supposed to make as a man and father. All I can say is I literally shake my head in wonder at the family I have: my wife Beryl; my daughter Barclay and son-in-law Vince, their four daughters, Bella, Brynn, Brooke and Blake; my son Alec, my son Conor and daughter-in-law Bonnie, their daughter Gemma and son Calvin. Every one of them is a genuine gift. Beyond that, I have a calling that I live out through Peregrine Ministries. It is to help men: Understand their identity in Christ, Embrace their role as men, and Live out their God-given calling in life. Bottom line is I’m convinced men matter and I want to help them live life on purpose.
Comments: 2
I certainly resonate with the title of the article and the premise that I wish my church knew me better or cared to even try to know me better. I also disagree with some of what she says and believe that a lot of it is written out of brokenness. For instance, she says that she wants authentic community but she rejects the way that churches try to inform her about those options. She wants to engage with the church but only on her terms. I also disagree that churches are trying to “force” anyone to take the next step. They simply want to make sure people know how to do it once they are ready to do so. For some reason, she just feels that this is disingenuous and my guess is that she has taken as next steps in the past only to be disappointed in the lack of genuine relationships that resulted. However, that’s not the churches fault. That’s just people!
Shifting gears, I do believe that the current models of “doing church” are not working well for many people. This article is evidence of the fact that church leaders must think differently if we are going to reach Gen X and Millenials. Programmatic approaches to church. (visit the welcome station > attend our orientation event > join a small group, etc) are less compelling to many people than real engagement where the church GOES into the community instead of asking the community to COME to the church. For me, hanging out with other men or couples in a social context and exploring faith as we navigate life feels a lot more like “church” than what I experience in a church building. I’m pretty certain I am not alone. Any church that figures out how to equip their leaders to break outside of the programmatic walls and pursue people where they are will be a church that thrives in this new reality.
Steve, I think your comments are insightful, in that you see her point, as I do, but also her woundedness. It’s ironic that the sensitivity of those wounds get in the way of her being open to the very community she’s longing for. As I type that I realize we are very much the same. Different wounds, same issues. Thanks.